Please Stop!

Last night marks the 5th (yes 5th) time that Shawn's office has been robbed in approximately 2 weeks. I think that's enough. The thieves have not been deterred by the installation of an alarm system or the video surveillance. Last night, they went over a wall (bypassing the alarm somehow) and down through the ceiling panels, moving the camera out of the way. So, if I may...

To whom it may concern,

You have caused enough trouble. You have 24(?) laptops, a number of printers, PDA's, projectors, and cholesterol machines (which don't belong to you). You have enough, you don't need anymore. We are tired of middle of the night phone calls from the alarm company and phone calls between 5 and 6 am or on Sunday afternoons where employees who are going in to do their jobs have to call and say, "Um, Shawn, the stuff is gone...again." You are taking up far too much valuable family time. And Shawn could really use the sleep and peace of mind. Really. I mean it. Please stop. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Melissa

P.S. If you are the thief and you are reading this, that would be really freaky - and wrong. I will have to remove you from my contact list.